Separation… The distance between us says a lot about our relationships. It can be reflected in physical dimensions, but in reality it is the total sum of emotional, physical, and spiritual space between us that really matters.
I read a great book which I highly recommend called The Good and Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith. Doctor Smith does an outstanding job of identifying the false narratives we may have about God and comparing them to the narratives Jesus gives us about God. I’ve thought about this idea of separation and intimacy a lot over the past few months at least in part because of this book.
I love the story of the prodigal son. At different times in my life I have identified with any and all of the three characters in the story – the wayward younger son, the dutiful older son, and the hopeful father. In telling this story Jesus illustrates this theme of separation and restoration in a manner that brings out the physical, emotional, and ultimately spiritual distance that exists to be bridged.
‘Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
“ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ ”’ Luke 15:11-32
Even while he was physically present in the home of his father, the younger son was emotionally and spiritually distant. His heart was drawn toward foreign lands and taboo customs. I feel certain his father knew this. Yet rather than force the younger son to stay physically present he not only allowed him to go, he enabled him to physically leave. I’d never really considered it before, but the father wasn’t obligated to give the younger son his inheritance. In fact, there are two things striking here. The inheritance is not due until the father dies. And the inheritance for the younger children is usually meager. The oldest son was due the bulk of the estate and the younger children were to be given a small inheritance – enough to start a life, but not half the farm. Yet that’s what this father did. In so doing he provided the younger son the means to put into effect the physical distance that matched the spiritual and emotional distance he had always had. The father gave the son the means to do the very things he had taught his children all their life not to do.
In Jesus telling of the story, the older son doesn’t really show up much until the end. I want to point out that the older son also had his fair share of distance to overcome. At the end of the story when the younger son has come to his senses, when he has repented of his sin and recognized his self-imposed distance between himself and his father, we see rejoicing and reconciliation between youngest son and dad. But the separation between father and oldest son then becomes evident. I believe that this separation was predominantly spiritual up until this point. In his pouting, the oldest son expresses anger emanating from a prideful spirit. The distance that had likely remained mostly hidden was brought to light.
I’ve always been intrigued by why Jesus tagged this on at the end of the story, almost as a footnote. I think the answer lies in this thought of the distance between us and God. One of the paramount messages of Jesus was the elimination of the distance between God and His children. Jesus was Emmanuel – God with us. That was a radical thought back then, even as it still is for many today. The entirety of “God with us” is a bigger truth than we can fully comprehend. But in this story we see the father doing something radical… and painful. I had never really seen it as what it had to be – the father’s extreme faith. Toward the youngest son it was faith that when he hit bottom he would look up and realize that the distance he had put between himself and his father was something he didn’t want to exist any longer. For the oldest son it was faith that he would understand that physical closeness was not the same as intimacy and that one day he would move into true intimacy with his father.
Our Father will do anything to eliminate the distance between us. He wants intimacy with us and He is willing to suffer to see it accomplished. For years I’ve marveled at the suffering Jesus endured at the cross. As my faith matured and I became a dad, I also marveled at the suffering God the Father had to endure to send His Son to suffer on our behalf. Today I realize that God feels the pain of separation with those He has called to be His children. Yet He allows us to “walk away” because His greatest desire is for our complete reconciliation with Him. To achieve this we have to see the distance for what it is – separation from the only Love that is truly healing… separation from the only Love that can completely reconcile… separation from the only Love that completes us…separation from intimacy with our Father Who is Love.
Through my work with our church’s care team and in our home group, I am praying for several folks who have prodigal children. My heart aches for them because we too have experienced children who walk away from us and from the Father. I suspect there are those who are reading this who’s feet may fit the shoes of someone in this story… the parent or one of the two children. Know this, God is with you wherever you are even if you have turned your back on Him. He loves you beyond your understanding. He loves you with an everlasting love. And He has done everything to make it possible for you to experience intimacy with Him and within the family of love He has called you to. Simply turn to Him. Call out to Him. Ask Jesus to help you. Ask Him to show you how to eliminate the distance between you and God. You’ll be amazed. The distance can be bridged in moment through a whispered, “Yes Lord.”
Be blessed today and be a blessing.
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