In addition to my current journey through cancer, I am a heart disease survivor, and it is only by the grace of God that I am able to tell you about it nine years later. Looking back, in addition to being a pretty cool story, there are many takeaways, not the least of which is that the LORD, who saved me back then, is the same God who is with me, and you, in each and every challenge we face.
SIGNS (March 2014)
The last couple of signs that something was not right was getting winded heading up the stairs to the daily meeting I attended at 9 am. It was only two flights, but it was enough that I noticed. My thought was that I had to get back into shape. The wild weather that winter combined with lots of long days at the plant had gotten me out of my fitness routine. That same evening when I arrived home, I pushed a wheelbarrow with tools about 100 yards and the same squeezing sensation occurred. At 15 seconds I was still thinking I was simply out of shape, but it continued. At 30 seconds, now I was praying and asking the LORD if there was more of an issue than just being out of shape. At 45 seconds I decided to tell Lisa about it.
After supper I took Lisa for a walk and told her what had been going on. We agreed I needed to get checked out. I am not positive that I would have gone before our big trip though. You see we were a week and a half from heading to Rome and then Israel. I went to sleep wondering if I went to the doctor and there was a problem, I might not be able to make the trip. I wondered if it would be okay to wait until we returned. But that night I had this dream…
THE DREAM
I was standing on the driveway in front of an open two car garage on a very sunny, but windy day. It was a beautiful blue sky with a few white puffy clouds. The door of the garage was open. It was dark inside the garage, and I could not see anything in there as I was standing in the sun. As I stood there a little whirlwind picked up some leaves from around me and blew them into the garage. I thought to get a broom and sweep them out.
As I walked in to sweep the leaves out, I paused just as I straddled the threshold and my eyes immediately adjusted to the dark. There were no cars in the garage, but there was a coffee table in the middle of the room. Underneath the table was a ball of writhing snakes. As I looked at them, I realized they were poisonous snakes. As soon as that realization came, one of the snakes broke free from the ball and came at me. Our eyes met and I knew it was coming to get me. As I write this morning, I can sense the malice in the snake’s eyes. I took one step back across the threshold and thought to myself, “I’ve got to deal with this.” At that instant my alarm went off. And resounding in my memory was the thought, “I’ve got to deal with this.”
DOCTOR’S WORK AND WISDOM
That morning I was in the doctor’s office before 10:00 am. Vitals all looked good, but the EKG was A-typical. A call to the cardiologist and I was in their office the next day. I thought a stress test was the next step but after looking at my EKG and hearing my symptoms, the cardiologist put me in for a heart catheterization the next day.
I went in hoping / expecting a 1-hour inspection where they would find everything fine. Two and a half hours later the doctor woke me, still on the table in the heart cath lab, with images of my heart on the monitor where I could see the three blood vessels he had unblocked and put in stints. Two were 90% blocked. The third, which was the widow-maker was 99% blocked.
An overnight stay in the hospital and I was home before noon on Saturday with 3.5 inches of Stainless-Steel mesh tubing in my heart.
That return home from the hospital was exactly one week before we flew out for Rome for 5 days and then on to Israel. The day before we flew out, I had a final check with the cardiologist to make sure everything was still a go. I met with a different doctor this time and I shared my story with her. She listened politely and as I finished, she said, “You quite possibly would have died on that trip.” My wife now completes the story by letting everyone know that I would have died.
ISRAEL
One of the sites we visited in Israel was Masada, Herod’s Mountain top fortress in the Judean desert. It is on a high plateau above the Dead Sea. When we arrived, the guide gave us two choices. We could ride the cable car up the 1000 plus feet or we could hike up the winding trail. Because of the doctor’s orders to take it very easy for six weeks I really had no choice, it was the cable car for me. But as Lisa correctly points out I am adventurous, and I would have chosen the steep trail… in the desert… in the hot sun which almost assuredly would have brought on a heart attack.
And the name of that trail… the Snake Trail.
(The image on this post is from the top of Masada looking down the mountain at the trail.)
As I mentioned before, my head spins as I think of the implications… I had a time bomb in my chest getting close to going off… I almost missed the warning signs… I can’t hide behind being “fit” to ward off everything that can take me down… God knows me well enough to know I needed a nudge (OK more like a push) from that dream to move and move quickly.
On the morning of the first cardiologist visit as I was heading to work when all I knew was that my EKG was A-typical, I turned on the local Christian music station. While I was not scared exactly, I was running through my mind the likely paths this could take. The possibility that there was a problem with my heart was high on the list. You can’t help but to think about the what if’s in such a situation. What if I don’t survive and my family has to deal with my loss?
About that time a song came on and the refrain repeated God’s words to us – “I will never leave you. I will never forsake you”. As the melody and these words soaked into my soul the tears came. Not tears of sadness, but tears of joy and release. I KNOW that God lives and that He is in control of my life. He has given me stewardship my time on earth, but as I release my life to Him, I can trust Him completely. He gave me a crazy dream about snakes at exactly the time I needed it to motivate me to head to the doctor. I celebrate the reality of Who He is and yet another marvelous thing He has done for me and my family.
TODAY (November 2023)
Today as I re-read what I posted right after my stents, I am overwhelmed anew by thankfulness. The LORD has given me such a clear assurance that He is present with me now, every bit as much as He was then.
Last Sunday the LORD impressed Romans 8:28 into my Spirit and then He had others mention it to me throughout the day including my 8th grade history teacher, Mr. Humbert, in a Facebook post earlier this week. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28. This morning I am to add Paul’s conclusion to that thought. “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39
Let me close with the two reasons I am led to share this today. One, as His children, the LORD is with us on a constant, moment by moment basis. It is His desire that we grow in intimacy and awareness of His presence not just on Sundays, not just in a daily quiet time, but moment-by-moment. In the busyness of life though, we can sometimes miss that. He gives us times and instances where His presence is more tangible, more real. His manifest presence breaks through and we KNOW, if for only a little while, that He is right there with us. He gives us those moments to draw us closer and to give us an anchor when we do drift. He simply wants us to remember and return.
The final reason is because God wants you to know how precious you are to Him and that He is not through with you. You may sometimes think you are too weak in your faith or too broken for God to use. Friend, He is not looking to use you. He wants to love you in a real and tangible way. He created you for fellowship, for a life in Him. I have made my share of mistakes and at times I’ve not put in the time to cultivate this intimacy with the LORD, but thanks be to God, He doesn’t move away, He moves toward me. Just like He is moving toward you right now. Just talk to Him. Ask Him to guide you home to Him. He loves you and He’s not through with you.
Lord thank you for this life you have given me. I surrendered my life to you many years ago, but I realize that this process is on-going. Today I give you thanks for my body and how it is made – even the heart disease and melanoma that I live with, because I know you are able to use it for the greater good. Draw me closer and closer to you each and every day. Please use me in my frailties and limitations to faithfully proclaim the Good News of Who You are and what You have done. Open eyes, ears, and hearts to the beautiful, wonderful reality of You. I love you, LORD.
And for those who are reading this, I pray your blessings upon them to know your heart for them, to become aware of the desires you have for them. Help them, and me, to walk in the love you have for us. Remind them Lord that you are for them and not against them. That you have a hope and a future in store for them. By your Spirit Lord, let it be done… Amen!