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Clarity!

Thus far I have experienced many more positives from a cancer diagnosis than negatives.  I am feeling fine… okay at 63 I am feeling fine for being 63, but I have no real complaints.  The rallying of family and friends has been inspiring.  The peace which I know to be from the LORD even as we sit in this “bad news, but how bad” phase is simply amazing.  I am experiencing the “peace that passes understanding” that the apostle Paul talks about in Philippians 4:7 and it is wonderful.  But this morning I want to dwell on an aspect of blessing that is perhaps the most edifying, and that is clarity.

Today I am seeing and understanding my life’s purpose in high definition.  The LORD wants me to live in such deep friendship with Him that the joy, peace, and love that He has for me (and for you) spills over.  God has called me to love with His love.  The time I have left, whether it be 3 months or 30 years, is to be spent immersed in this experience of loving God with all my heart, soul, and strength and loving my neighbor as myself.

This past summer as I was sweating it out at the beach lugging way too much stuff from the beach back to our condo, I was pretty uncomfortable.  To battle my discomfort (and maybe a little frustration from lugging too much stuff) I was focusing upon ”reflecting” God’s love.  The Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, “I want you to radiate my love.”  What?  Not reflect?  As I let that sink in, I realized I was trying to put on a smile.  I was trying to think kinder thoughts even in the midst of frustration.  I was thinking about “doing” the right things to be nice even though I felt anything but nice. 

As I examined the difference between reflecting and radiating I realized in my instance it was the difference between doing and being.  If we consider the story of Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42), we get a picture of doing and being.  Martha was busy doing all the things necessary for everyone to be fed and cared for in her home as Jesus was teaching.  Mary was busy sitting at Jesus’ feet listening and learning.  She put the priority on being in Jesus’ presence before doing other things.

Now this is not an indictment of Martha, but it is making the distinction in priorities.  When my life’s priority is to draw close to Jesus, then the remainder of my life falls into place.  This is a daily thing.  This is a moment-by-moment thing.  As I spend focused time on Jesus, the Holy Spirit works this on-going transformation in me that brings about those characteristics that God has purposed for me.  I don’t have to work up the smile.  It just comes without effort.  I don’t have to work so hard to ignore the rude person, but kindness seeps to the surface of my thoughts.  I don’t have to try to be loving.  Love radiates out of me.

These outward manifestations come supernaturally, naturally.  God’s inner working in my soul is making changes in me such that the Holy Spirit has ever increasing sway on how I think and act.  It is less of God’s goodness shining on me and bouncing off and more of God’s goodness doing something miraculous in me that causes His goodness to radiate out of me. 

I hope you will join me in this journey.  I believe in God’s sovereignty; therefore, He knows about this cancer battle and has allowed it for His good purpose.  That first wakeful night I felt the Lord give me a few “To Do’s”.  One was to journal this journey in a totally transparent manner and share it with others.  It is my earnest prayer that God meets you where you are and provides exactly what you need – whether it be encouragement, guidance, or perhaps even the first step in your journey of discovery with Him.

Until next time, be blessed my friend and be a blessing!

Psalms 82-82 Romans 2. I like the image that comes to mind when I read Psalm 84:10. ‘Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.’ The picture is one of joyful exuberance as I swing the door wide to welcome people – young and old, excited and exhausted, some that look like me and many who look nothing like me, multi-colored, varieties of dress, just lots of people who are drawn to be near the Lord God Almighty.

I can clearly see the smile on my face and the joy in my eyes as I know Who awaits them inside. Many streaming in already know Him and have an abiding relationship with the Lover of their soul. Some do not, but they have hope and so they come. God, who is Love, has brought them to the doors of faith and He is ready to meet them where they are and draw them to Himself.

There is historical context to this Psalm that is helpful to know. The Jewish people had three high feast days when it was expected that they would travel to Jerusalem to worship as God’s gathered people. For a time, God placed a unique manifestation of His presence in the Temple. While God is omnipresent, i.e. present in all places at all times, He can and does chose to manifest His presence in a more tangible way in discrete places for periods of time. He can do this in human form like He did in Babylon in the fire with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abenego, He can do it like He did with the Ark of the Covenant, or He can do it like He did in the Temple in Jerusalem as a cloud. The point is God is both always present and, at times, manifestly present. To come to the Temple is to say, I want to be as close to the Lord as I possibly can. And that is a good thing.

One final thought. Standing at the door we get to experience God’s presence while at the same time extending His invitation to others who have not experienced Him. Being in His presence and soaking up His lovingkindness does wonders for us, but it is also meant to motivate us to share it with others. God’s love in contagious in the most wonderful way. We work in concert with the Holy Spirit as we do life with others, taking the opportunities presented to point to Him, to speak of Him, to live in a manner that represents Him well. As we do, we are swinging the door wide and offering the invitation, “Come inside, the LORD invites you to join Him. He is so glad you came!”

LORD, you are Holy. That you invite us to join you is wonderful, amazing, and a bit surprising. But through your Son, Jesus, you made a way that we can enter in. You offered cleansing from sin by His precious blood spilled on our behalf. So, with gratitude and in great humility we bend the knee and say, “thank you”. While we rightfully should remain in this posture, you reach down and lift us up, saying, “Arise my child, your sins are forgiven. Come join the celebration!” And we do. Glory, honor, and praise be ever to our King, our Lord, the one true God. Amen and AMEN!

Dichotomy

Psalm 79-81, Romans 1. Paul’s letter to the Romans is a beautiful treatise on the difference between life without God versus the transformed life in union with God. This first chapter provides a 30,000-foot view of this dichotomy where Paul is setting the table for what is to come.

Life can be parsed into three phases – transgression, transaction, and transformation. Transgression is the first phase and sadly, many people never leave this phase. Romans 1:18-32 describe life in the transgression phase – broken, sinful, and separated from God.

The transaction phase is when we hear and receive the Gospel – the good news of Jesus Christ. Romans 1:1-5 touches on the heart of this transaction which Paul will elaborate on over the coming pages. In this phase God exchanges our sins for Jesus’ righteousness in an act of ultimate mercy and grace. He changes our heart, our direction, and our ultimate destination.

Then there is the transformation phase where our lives become aligned with God’s will over time. I can’t help but jump ahead to Romans 12:1-2 as I think about this. It follows the transaction where we lay down our old lives and say yes to Jesus as Savior and Lord. This transformation is our lives becoming increasingly aligned with Jesus. In one place it is called putting on the “mind of Christ”. It is where our habits are changed from being dictated by self and the world’s ways to becoming directed by the Word of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit. It is a time of partnership with the deep working of the Holy Spirit in us to bring about a total transformation of how we think, speak, and act.

The Gospels give us a clear picture of Jesus – who He is, what He did while in the flesh, and what the life He calls us to looks like. Acts describes this glorious giving of the Holy Spirit who indwells us as redeemed children of God. We see how the Holy Spirit works within the gathered body of Christ as a group as well as in individuals who are in the transformation process.  In this letter to the Romans Paul connects the dots between these three phases, reaching back to the beginning of the story in Genesis through the Gospels, into the time of the book of Acts, and, under the Holy Spirit’s inspiration, all the way to us as we read his words today.

I love the book of Romans because it articulates the path I have been walking on for 40+ years. When I read it it’s like looking at the map to check my location, my destination, and to correct where I may be a little off. It is a gift from the Lord to lead us home and to help us finish strong!

Lord, thank you for all the saints who have gone before us. Today as we launch into the letter you inspired Paul to write, we thank you for the wise words that help us on our journey in faith. Your plan for us is good and we desire to walk it out with constancy and purpose. Take what we read, the circumstances of our lives, and the needs within us and bring about your perfect will. We want to become more like Jesus today. We want to shed whatever vestige of our old self that might rise up so that the new creation in You might be revealed. We want to please you in word, in deed, and even in our thoughts. Lord God, you are our God, you are our hope, you are our All in All. Blessed be your Holy Name!

We are inheritors of God’s promises given repeatedly since the beginning of time. From Genesis 3:15 on, God has promised He would send a rescuer, a deliverer from the enemy who accuses us and the sin that binds us. In Abraham, God chose a family line to bring forth this redeemer. Throughout the Jewish Law and Prophets, God’s provision and these promises are repeated. Sadly, despite this the people repeatedly failed to live according to God’s direction and they forfeited their place in these promises.

I was the oldest of four children. Lisa and I raised four ourselves. One thing I have noticed is that the youngest children have a great advantage should they choose it. They can learn from the oldest children’s mistakes. My younger siblings benefited greatly from the discipline that I rightly earned. I won’t necessarily say they were perfect, but they at least knew where the lines were that they should not cross. But even better, they knew the things that created peace, happiness, and harmony in the home.

Psalm 72 gives this look back over Israel’s past, highlighting God’s faithful provision even in times of trial and difficulty. It was a call to the Jews in that day, but it is also appropriate for us today to see where God has been and what He has done on our behalf. We are not orphans abandoned to ourselves. We are His children.

There will be times when He draws us close and holds us tight. There will also be times when He calls us to stand firm in the face of adversity, knowing that He is with us. He is raising us up and training us to be people who faithfully follow even when we don’t feel it, when the view of His hand is obscured. We are learning to be people who trust His heart even when we can’t see His hand.

Having passed through more than one hard place and dark time, His presence on the other side seems a little more real. The delight in His eyes and the smile on His face seems a little richer. And for sure, the joy in my heart lifts me a little higher. And when the next challenge comes, I have His past provision to hold onto because I know it contains the promise of His forever faithfulness.

Lord, thank you that you are always there, even in those times when we don’t feel you. Help us to look at your past provision and faithfulness to the people of God in the Bible as well as in the lives of our believing friends to buoy our faith. When the going gets tough, bring to mind the times you have provided for us, the times you have nurtured us in sweetness. Lord, we surrender our need to have a specific solution, and we accept your presence and your provision as we put our whole trust in you. For you are our provider, our healer, our redeemer, and our Lord. To you be all glory, honor, and praise, now and forever!

It is easy to lose sight of the big picture. Sometimes we never even consider the big picture. A common feature in the lament psalms is this seeming fixation on the wicked and those who oppose the psalmist – whether it is David, Asaph, or an anonymous writer. A “woe is me” and “why aren’t you doing something God” attitude is actually captured throughout these psalms. It used to bother me, but now I’m glad they did. They were real and they show the starting point for realization and return. When they realize they are focused on the wrong thing, the temporary thing, and they return their focus on God, the entire picture shifts.

Hidden in our hearts is this echo of Eden. God created a place for us to dwell with Him in perfection. Everything was good. Anything that was needed was provided. Intimacy with Love Himself was the center point of this idyllic existence. There was only one thing that was forbidden – the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Yet, with a little prompting from the serpent, Eve and Adam became enamored of the forbidden. Love for God and intimacy with Him fell to second place as desire for this forbidden thing became their primary desire.

The Psalmist, probably correctly, observes those who flaunt God and His commands, and He is incensed. But with this observation comes a desire not unlike Adam and Eve in the garden. The current prosperity of the wicked and the seeming lack of response from God stirs up envy that is every bit as damning as the arrogance of the wicked. Allowed to continue, this tunnel vision would have brought about the downfall of one called to be faithful in all circumstances.

Thanks be to God, He is near at hand. He allows the wicked to prosper for a little while that they might realize their need for Him and turn. He allows us to see this, not to tempt us, but to encourage us to turn our eyes, our hearts to Him in trust, to look at the bigger picture. God’s past faithfulness is just one piece of the big picture we can look to as reminders that God is good and He will make all things right. The Temple itself was a magnificent reminder of God’s promises fulfilled and His presence among His people.

Today I look at the big picture and I see God’s hand at work in every direction. For the child struggling mightily right now – Father draw her near and let her see the big picture. For the long career nearing an end – let the finish be strong and honoring to you. For the brother’s and sister’s I worship and pray and do life with – Lord continue to mold us and shape us. You are so good, so faithful, so present – help us to see with eyes of faith so that we grow deeper and stronger in You. Accomplish your good and perfect will in us and through us this day. Jesus, it is in your wonderful Name that we pray.

In 2019 I traveled to Kenya to support some friends who were serving in an orphanage and Christian school in Nairobi.  It was an awesome trip, and I was greatly encouraged by the Davis family’s faithfulness in serving the Lord and the dozens of young people under their charge.  I told a friend afterwards that the trip was amazing, but somehow that word really wasn’t sufficient.  My wife and I travel for leisure a fair amount and seeing new places, experiencing new cultures, and making new friends is not a new experience for me.  My common response is that a trip is “amazing”.  This was so much more than that.  It was inspiring.  It was hard work.  It was uplifting talking to LJ and Danee about the work.  It was wonderful to hear from the Lord frequently and be able to obey with the encouragement and activity that He directed.  It weighed on my heart to see the poverty, filth, and lack of opportunity that is so much more prevalent than in the USA (or any of the places we travel to for fun).  But as heavy as that was, the light of God’s goodness in the work being carried out stood out in stark, yet highly desirable contrast.  There are many lessons that I have taken from the trip.  Some were fully formed while I was there.  Some are still being processed.  The following are my keys take-aways.

Maturing in faith and becoming a seasoned Christian will always include steps out of our comfort zone. 

Growth as a believer is an on-going series of steps that progressively move us from a place of comfort and ease into new territory that will often be a little scary and uncomfortable.  But it is in stepping into the new that we learn to trust in Jesus’s presence and provision more than our own abilities and strength.  I used to think that the word comfort meant ease and leisure.  The actual root of the term comfort means “with strength”.  Com = with, fort comes from the same root as fortress or fortification – a place of strength.  When we are comforted, we are given strength to endure whatever difficulty, trial, or challenge we are encountering.  Being comforted is a good thing.  Being comfortable is in itself not a bad thing.  However, there are times when the good can become an enemy of the best.  And God wants the best for His children.

The path to intimacy with God isn’t always comfortable.

So, what is the problem with being comfortable and why does God want us to move out of our comfort zone?  The issue is not that God is a killjoy.  Joy, comfort, and peace are great gifts He provides.  But these are by-products not the end product.  The goal is a deepening relationship with Him and a greater intimacy with the lover of our soul.  It is God’s desire that each one of us grow to know Him so well that we live in constant communion with Him.  Prayer without ceasing is more than a pious platitude, it is an accurate description of the life God wants to lead us into.  Which is where our personal comfort zone can become a hindrance rather than a good thing.

The Creator of the universe is without limits.  His love is truly beyond our comprehension, but He wants us to experience it in ever greater amounts.  To do so often means we must let go of our current familiar and comfortable understanding to experience the next greater level of His love.  The same is true of His wisdom, His faithfulness, His mercy, His grace.  Each time we let go of our current state of satisfaction and lean into a holy hunger for more of Him, we will experience a stretching and growth that reveals more of God’s nature, and a lessening of the negatives of the world’s perspective.  For me personally, this stretching often includes a letting go of self-reliance in some area to gain a greater God-reliance.

One family’s pursuit of following God in Kenya.

I saw this in Kenya.  It was evident in my friends LJ and Danee.  It was also true in me.  God’s specific word to LJ was “to prepare the land”.  The orphanage had fallen into disrepair.  Mismanagement had resulted in the loss of the license as a children’s home and much of the 14-acre compound was overgrown with brush and vegetation.  The entire family responded to the call to prepare the land. 

Now for many of us, traveling overseas can be a daunting experience.  That increases when the travel is to a third world country.  Raise it another notch when we are placed next to the 2nd largest slum in the world.  Oh, for good measure, take the entire family with children ages 15, 14, 13, and 9 in tow.  I know very few people who would be able to be stretched that far.  But the path the Lord has led Danee and LJ on has been a path of consistent next steps of trusting God as they go a little further out of their comfort zone, only to see Him provide exactly what was needed after each step.

While I was there, I witnessed LJ assuming the new role of overall Operations Manager for the entire compound.  By his own admission, LJ is a country boy from rural South Carolina.  He did not aspire to running an orphanage and school, but as I witnessed while I was there, LJ and Danee are faithfully doing whatever is required in leading, guiding, and serving the community.  And the land itself is beginning to flourish.  A ¾ acre vegetable garden is up and growing.  Soon it will be a major supplement to the food provisions for the 84 children getting their meals at LifeSpring.  The livestock are multiplying.  The third fluffle of rabbits are being nurtured and rabbit hutches were built while I was there.  Chickens roam the grounds during the day with baby chicks sticking close to mama hen for protection.  Goats graze on grass where brambles once grew.  To support the growing campus, LJ has hired widows and young men in desperate need of employment.   The land is well on its way to being prepared.

LJ’s work as an instrument and controls technician prepared him for some of the work.  I chuckle though because Google has come to the rescue many times as they encounter new situations they have never dealt with before.  (Like letting me know that a group of baby bunnies is called a fluffle!)  In one instance they were talking to one of the widows who had been hired to tend the garden.  In Kenya all the schools are in English, so if you have had the benefit of attending school you are liable to speak decent English.  This widow, who cares for her grandchild in the Kibera slum, knows zero English therefore she has never been to school.  Trying to communicate to her that LJ had bought four tin sheets to replace the plastic she was living under in Kibera was both humorous and deeply touching.  Google translate had to translate into Swahili so the widow could understand that some men would be coming by to help her.  Kenyans don’t cry.  Stoic persistence to survive doesn’t leave room for expressing much emotion, but the emotion flickered on her face when she realized the act of kindness being done for her. 

LJ and Danee went to Kenya following the Lord’s clear leading.  But following the Lord’s leading and knowing all that we are getting into are often two different things.  In some cases, the Father will give us a degree of insight into what’s ahead. 

The Bible’s witness to life outside the comfort zone.

I think of Paul heading to Jerusalem where he would be arrested.  God clearly told him to go to Jerusalem.  And he was also clearly told that difficulty was ahead.  But God gave Paul an assurance that walking this difficult path was God’s will and that God would be with him.  Paul was called out of his comfort zone over and over again.  In stepping into God’s call out of the comfort zone and into the unknown, Paul grew into the apostle God created him to be.  Today the Church is blessed because of Paul’s faithfulness in living outside of his comfort zone since much of the New Testament was written by Paul.

As the Lord opened my eyes to the reality of our growth as believers being tied to stepping out of our comfort zone, I realized that all the saints mentioned in the Bible were taken out of their comfort zone.  Abraham left his family, his land, and ventured many long and difficult miles (and years) to a “promised” land.  There was comfort in the land of Haran, but God’s call was to step out and follow Him. 

Mary was a young teenager engaged to a kind carpenter, when an angel said you have been chosen but it will take you out of your comfort zone.  Mary said “let it be done to me as you have said” and she stepped out of her comfort zone and into God’s plan for the salvation of humanity. 

Jesus was a good Jewish lad, well versed in the law, but God had a plan and a call upon His life.  Jesus was unique.  He was fully God, but at the same time fully human.  Being fully human, He experienced a degree of comfort as a carpenter son, then apprentice, and finally working as a carpenter in His own right.  But when God said step out of your comfort zone and into my call upon your life He did. 

Jesus ministered for 3 years outside of His comfort zone – forty days fasting in the desert, speaking to crowds that wanted signs and wonders, but not necessarily the all-in life with God He was espousing, doing battle with the persons of power and influence who chaffed at His familiarity with God, and finally suffering a painful and humiliating torture and execution at the hands of both Roman authorities and Jewish leaders.  Jesus modeled a life of stretching our human boundaries of comfort in faithful response to God’s call to something better, something richer, to life in union with God and His unique plan for each person.

What next step outside your comfort zone is God calling you to?

Friends I am deeply stirred that God has a call upon every person into a life that is beyond amazing.  He has a call upon you.  But it is a journey that will frequently take us out of our comfort zone.  God will ask us to take steps in faith in Him and not in sight by using our own wisdom and strength.  We will have to rely upon Him.  We will be stretched.  At times it won’t be “fun”.  At times it will even be difficult.  But as we listen and lean upon Him, He will be with us to bring about His good will in us and through us.  And this is so much better than the “good” we might experience in the comfort zone.  Because it is the best.

What burden or desire has the Lord put on your heart that gets shelved because it is outside your comfort zone?

Where do you see injustice, need, or sin that really pushes your buttons, but thus far you have done little beyond complain about it?

Do you get a passion for something the Word says to do, yet thus far you have not truly considered the possibility of you doing something just because?

Take a few moments and ask the Father to bring your next step into clear focus.  Ask with a willingness to take the next step.  Realize these will not usually be huge leaps out of the blue, but a gradual revelation where God draws you to a faith place that makes each progressive step a stretch, but doable with a little courage and trust in the One Who has provided for you in the past.  For the Davis’ it was a few years walking out many progressive next steps into mission work.  For me going over to help them was similar, taking about a year of progressive faith steps.  Having been, my faith is stirred to help even more.  Will I be more comfortable?  Walking in God’s grace and lifted by His love, I reckon I have all the strength a person needs.  So, the answer has to be yes, but in a new way.  When we walk His path, taking new steps into the unknown that He directs, we will be comforted with His great comfort. 

And that is way better than just being comfortable.

Be blessed my friends and be a light of blessing in the places where the LORD has placed you today, and always!

BTW, Danee and LJ are still serving in the same place although it is now called Oasis of Hope, and the Lord has done amazing things. The vision has shifted to rescuing young girls from forced marriages. The school now holds over 110 students, and the ministry is expanding more and more into the slum and areas around the school. The oversight organization is Serving Orphans Worldwide. Check them out at https://soworldwide.org/oasis-of-hope/

I don’t know of anyone that likes waiting.  I have met people, typically persons I would characterize as mature or wise, who dutifully accept waiting, but to say I know people who get excited about waiting, that would be a NO.  But for the past several weeks as we have been on a journey from a cancer diagnosis now through a surgery and next, a deeper diagnosis, waiting has been one of the constant undercurrents.  Surprisingly it has not been the dread that, at an earlier time in my life, I am sure it would have been.

Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV) comes to mind as I sit in this time of not-yet-knowing.

But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

I have a relationship with God, my Heavenly Father, because of what Jesus did for me.  In a small chapel in the piney woods of central Louisiana, Jesus made me an offer that I accepted.  He offered me a new life, one walking with Him from that moment forward.  It required my letting Him have dominion over everything, but He promised He would never leave me or forsake me.  For 40+ years He has been true to His promise.  He has been tangibly present for over forty years.  I have grown to know His leading through His Word, through the community of faith He has placed me in, and the witness of the Holy Spirit living in me. 

This is an offer that is available to every single human being.  It is His desire that we all become His children walking in a life-giving, love-saturated, joy-filled relationship with Him.  I share this as context to this strange phenomenon I am in.  I am at peace in this waiting.  I sense changes occurring in my soul as I wait in a place of trust.

As an engineer I do my research.  I’ve read some of the stats.  If the cancer has spread, the potential five-year survival rate goes down significantly.  In a detached way I acknowledge this potential knowing that Jesus has not left or forsaken me, therefore I wait in hope.  Those same percentages that are not in my favor do not compare to the One who is in my favor.  The odds of this working out for God’s glory and my good are 100% as I wait upon Him, as I put my trust in Him. 

I started to say “put my WHOLE trust in Him”, but I know that I bring all that I can and let Him supply what lacks.  I have learned that is often what the waiting is about.  Learning to release control.  Or more accurately, learning to release the illusion of control to the One who is able to meet all our needs.  Waiting on the Lord is the place where faith and patience are nurtured and grown. 

Waiting on the Lord fulfills His purpose in several ways.  As I look back, I can see the younger me and realize many changes wrought through the Lord’s work in times of waiting.

  1. The need to control situations to meet my perception of “good”.  While I would have said, I wanted the Lord’s will, there was often a flavoring of what I thought was best.  I often didn’t see God’s big picture point of view. 
  2. A bias towards action and doing something rather than beginning with prayer and waiting for direction.  Boy are there a lot of toes I’ve stepped on trying to “make things happen”.  (My apologies to you if you are one of those whose toes I’ve stepped on.)
  3. My understanding of Ephesians chapter 5 and what marriage looks like.  This one took years of waiting and being reminded by the Holy Spirit to “love Lisa like Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her.”  (There will be more on this in the future!)
  4. Being male and an engineer, when presented with a problem, I naturally go into “figure it out and fix it” mode.  Not all problems require that formula.  In fact, that is the wrong approach at times.  The Lord’s work is often best achieved by pausing and allowing Him lead.  This is Spirit-led action after waiting on the Lord.
  5. Related to the one above, sometimes being present and inviting the Lord into the midst of the problem is all we are to do.  The Lord’s work is sometimes accomplished by my being there but stepping out of the way.  This is Spirit-led stillness after waiting on the Lord.

I find it no coincidence that this fresh season of waiting for us corresponds with our Bible reading plan in the letters of Paul.  Trials, afflictions, and times of waiting fill the chapters we have been reading.  Yet we read about joy and patience and hope not instead of, but in the midst of the challenges Paul and the early believers faced.  Things have not changed in this respect.  While we have many creature comforts unavailable to our ancestors, we still deal with sickness, hardship, loss, and death. 

Thanks be to God, the same Holy Spirit who gave comfort and guidance to the early Church is present with us in all our affliction.  He is not in any way constrained today from giving us what we need.   In fact, it is often through our affliction that we become keenly aware of our need for His help, guidance and comfort.  A key though is to realize the timing is the Lord’s.  Instant gratification is NOT God’s typical way.  No, He gives us this precious gift of time to allow the better work, the deeper work, the soul work to take place. 

Earlier in my walk with Christ, I remember asking the LORD to hurry up and give me patience… His response was a No and Yes.  He did not hurry up.  But in the waiting, I have seen much fruit grow including a patience that the younger me wanted, but struggled to attain. 

Friend, while I don’t know what your situation is, I have a pretty good sense that if not now, at some time in the near future you will be tasked with waiting.  It is my prayer as I finish today’s post that you will experience the Lord’s purpose in your waiting.  Let go of having to have answers right now and reach for having intimacy with Him.  The LORD loves you and He has the best in mind for you.  Sit with Him and rest knowing that the Lover of your soul is all in for you.  He will supply exactly what you need when you wait upon the Lord.

Be blessed my friends as you wait upon the LORD!

Incredible

It is a day and a half since the surgery.  The nerve block they gave me has worked well, but it is finally wearing off and I am beginning to feel the fact that a portion of my ear is missing.  Not too much pain, but a reminder of something lost.  But this is nothing compared to what I have gained through this.  I can truly say this has been one of the most blessed experiences of my life.  The LORD’s presence has been so real and tangible that I have experienced a peace that has truly buoyed me and a joy that has stirred my soul.

The word that comes to mind as I ponder this is “Incredible”.  Something that is credible is believable.  With the prefix added in-credible means something that stretches belief.  I already had a strong belief in God and a vibrant relationship with the Lord through Jesus, but that belief has been strengthened and stretched in the most blessed of ways. 

One of the things I’ve found interesting is how I have been led to pray.  My prayers for myself have been that the Lord would be glorified.  I have not been led to pray to be healed.  The Holy Spirit told me to share my journey, hence you are reading this post.  From that I know others have been praying for me, many praying for my healing, but I have not. 

There was one night a week or so after we learned I was dealing with melanoma that Lisa and I watched a series where one of the lead characters had cystic fibrosis.  In the final episode she passed away.  Her passing as portrayed in the show played out over a 2-year period.  For both Lisa and I the reality that I could be on the front end of a similar journey really weighed on us as we went to bed.  In the middle of the night I awoke restless and I hesitantly prayed, “Lord Jesus, please heal me”.  Well, the Holy Spirit clearly spoke, “It is not yet the time”. 

I have not prayed specifically for my healing since.  I am fine with others praying for it and I do hope the Lord heals me, but that has not been my focus.  I simply want to walk faithfully through this knowing the LORD said, “Trust Me” at the outset. 

The returns on this approach have been amazing.  I have known a peace through this that has lifted me.  As I already mentioned, I can feel such love and affirmation, that I am truly thankful for this experience.  I have even walked in periods of great joy.  And to imagine this is amid losing part of my body and still not knowing if cancer has spread to other parts of my body.  (Since I am being transparent, not all of my body is still working like I would like for it to, but I attribute that to things done at an earlier age that are now catching up to me 😊)

Friends, I can see how the LORD was preparing me for this journey even as late as this summer.  A theme that played out over several weeks in my studies and meditation was that we are “eternal, spiritual beings living in a temporary, physical body”.  Our time on this earth is truly limited.  These bodies all have an expiration date.  But the part of us that lives on is what we should be nourishing and growing.  Our spirit is where we commune with our Creator.  It is the part of us that needs to know who we are and why we are here. 

We are created to be God’s children and our purpose is to know and love Him even as we are fully known and loved.  While this is the answer, it is only the merest surface of the reality.  The depths of it are only realized when it goes from our head to our hearts and fills our spirit with His Holy Spirit.  We are given one lifetime for this to happen.  I guess my situation has simply given me, and those who have joined me for this journey, an opportunity to consider that my expiration date, and each of theirs, might be closer than we realize.  I believe the Lord’s response to each of us is the same as what He spoke to my heart shortly after I learned I had cancer… “Trust Me!”

Our next medical milestone is December 11 when we learn the results of the biopsy and the genetic testing to see if I am prone to more melanoma.

It has been my honor that you have joined me in this journey.  Hopefully the LORD has taken my posts and used them to encourage you in some way.  That is my desire and prayer. 

Be blessed my friend and be a blessing to someone today!

In addition to my current journey through cancer, I am a heart disease survivor, and it is only by the grace of God that I am able to tell you about it nine years later. Looking back, in addition to being a pretty cool story, there are many takeaways, not the least of which is that the LORD, who saved me back then, is the same God who is with me, and you, in each and every challenge we face.

SIGNS (March 2014)

The last couple of signs that something was not right was getting winded heading up the stairs to the daily meeting I attended at 9 am. It was only two flights, but it was enough that I noticed. My thought was that I had to get back into shape. The wild weather that winter combined with lots of long days at the plant had gotten me out of my fitness routine. That same evening when I arrived home, I pushed a wheelbarrow with tools about 100 yards and the same squeezing sensation occurred. At 15 seconds I was still thinking I was simply out of shape, but it continued. At 30 seconds, now I was praying and asking the LORD if there was more of an issue than just being out of shape. At 45 seconds I decided to tell Lisa about it.

After supper I took Lisa for a walk and told her what had been going on. We agreed I needed to get checked out.  I am not positive that I would have gone before our big trip though.  You see we were a week and a half from heading to Rome and then Israel.  I went to sleep wondering if I went to the doctor and there was a problem, I might not be able to make the trip. I wondered if it would be okay to wait until we returned. But that night I had this dream…

THE DREAM

I was standing on the driveway in front of an open two car garage on a very sunny, but windy day. It was a beautiful blue sky with a few white puffy clouds. The door of the garage was open.  It was dark inside the garage, and I could not see anything in there as I was standing in the sun.  As I stood there a little whirlwind picked up some leaves from around me and blew them into the garage.  I thought to get a broom and sweep them out.  

As I walked in to sweep the leaves out, I paused just as I straddled the threshold and my eyes immediately adjusted to the dark.  There were no cars in the garage, but there was a coffee table in the middle of the room.  Underneath the table was a ball of writhing snakes. As I looked at them, I realized they were poisonous snakes.  As soon as that realization came, one of the snakes broke free from the ball and came at me. Our eyes met and I knew it was coming to get me. As I write this morning, I can sense the malice in the snake’s eyes. I took one step back across the threshold and thought to myself, “I’ve got to deal with this.” At that instant my alarm went off. And resounding in my memory was the thought, “I’ve got to deal with this.”

DOCTOR’S WORK AND WISDOM

That morning I was in the doctor’s office before 10:00 am. Vitals all looked good, but the EKG was A-typical. A call to the cardiologist and I was in their office the next day. I thought a stress test was the next step but after looking at my EKG and hearing my symptoms, the cardiologist put me in for a heart catheterization the next day.  

I went in hoping / expecting a 1-hour inspection where they would find everything fine.  Two and a half hours later the doctor woke me, still on the table in the heart cath lab, with images of my heart on the monitor where I could see the three blood vessels he had unblocked and put in stints.  Two were 90% blocked. The third, which was the widow-maker was 99% blocked.

An overnight stay in the hospital and I was home before noon on Saturday with 3.5 inches of Stainless-Steel mesh tubing in my heart.

That return home from the hospital was exactly one week before we flew out for Rome for 5 days and then on to Israel.  The day before we flew out, I had a final check with the cardiologist to make sure everything was still a go.  I met with a different doctor this time and I shared my story with her.  She listened politely and as I finished, she said, “You quite possibly would have died on that trip.”  My wife now completes the story by letting everyone know that I would have died. 

ISRAEL

One of the sites we visited in Israel was Masada, Herod’s Mountain top fortress in the Judean desert.  It is on a high plateau above the Dead Sea.  When we arrived, the guide gave us two choices.  We could ride the cable car up the 1000 plus feet or we could hike up the winding trail.  Because of the doctor’s orders to take it very easy for six weeks I really had no choice, it was the cable car for me.  But as Lisa correctly points out I am adventurous, and I would have chosen the steep trail… in the desert… in the hot sun which almost assuredly would have brought on a heart attack. 

And the name of that trail… the Snake Trail.

(The image on this post is from the top of Masada looking down the mountain at the trail.)

As I mentioned before, my head spins as I think of the implications… I had a time bomb in my chest getting close to going off… I almost missed the warning signs… I can’t hide behind being “fit” to ward off everything that can take me down… God knows me well enough to know I needed a nudge (OK more like a push) from that dream to move and move quickly.

On the morning of the first cardiologist visit as I was heading to work when all I knew was that my EKG was A-typical, I turned on the local Christian music station. While I was not scared exactly, I was running through my mind the likely paths this could take. The possibility that there was a problem with my heart was high on the list. You can’t help but to think about the what if’s in such a situation. What if I don’t survive and my family has to deal with my loss?

About that time a song came on and the refrain repeated God’s words to us – “I will never leave you. I will never forsake you”. As the melody and these words soaked into my soul the tears came. Not tears of sadness, but tears of joy and release. I KNOW that God lives and that He is in control of my life. He has given me stewardship my time on earth, but as I release my life to Him, I can trust Him completely. He gave me a crazy dream about snakes at exactly the time I needed it to motivate me to head to the doctor. I celebrate the reality of Who He is and yet another marvelous thing He has done for me and my family.

TODAY (November 2023)

Today as I re-read what I posted right after my stents, I am overwhelmed anew by thankfulness.  The LORD has given me such a clear assurance that He is present with me now, every bit as much as He was then.

Last Sunday the LORD impressed Romans 8:28 into my Spirit and then He had others mention it to me throughout the day including my 8th grade history teacher, Mr. Humbert, in a Facebook post earlier this week. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28. This morning I am to add Paul’s conclusion to that thought. “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39

Let me close with the two reasons I am led to share this today. One, as His children, the LORD is with us on a constant, moment by moment basis. It is His desire that we grow in intimacy and awareness of His presence not just on Sundays, not just in a daily quiet time, but moment-by-moment. In the busyness of life though, we can sometimes miss that. He gives us times and instances where His presence is more tangible, more real. His manifest presence breaks through and we KNOW, if for only a little while, that He is right there with us. He gives us those moments to draw us closer and to give us an anchor when we do drift. He simply wants us to remember and return.

The final reason is because God wants you to know how precious you are to Him and that He is not through with you. You may sometimes think you are too weak in your faith or too broken for God to use. Friend, He is not looking to use you. He wants to love you in a real and tangible way. He created you for fellowship, for a life in Him. I have made my share of mistakes and at times I’ve not put in the time to cultivate this intimacy with the LORD, but thanks be to God, He doesn’t move away, He moves toward me. Just like He is moving toward you right now. Just talk to Him. Ask Him to guide you home to Him. He loves you and He’s not through with you.

Lord thank you for this life you have given me.  I surrendered my life to you many years ago, but I realize that this process is on-going.  Today I give you thanks for my body and how it is made – even the heart disease and melanoma that I live with, because I know you are able to use it for the greater good.  Draw me closer and closer to you each and every day. Please use me in my frailties and limitations to faithfully proclaim the Good News of Who You are and what You have done.  Open eyes, ears, and hearts to the beautiful, wonderful reality of You.  I love you, LORD.

And for those who are reading this, I pray your blessings upon them to know your heart for them, to become aware of the desires you have for them. Help them, and me, to walk in the love you have for us. Remind them Lord that you are for them and not against them. That you have a hope and a future in store for them. By your Spirit Lord, let it be done… Amen!

It started in the garage.  I was tired of the mess and disorganized clutter, so I began moving things around.  Five days later garages are clean and organized, the shop is straightened and orderly, and I’ve begun on the master closet.  As I finished yesterday’s work I looked with a sense of satisfaction, but also a question, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”

This morning I awoke at 3:40 am.  I’ve gotten into this strange habit of waking up in the middle of the night and as consciousness breaks through, I think to myself, “I bet it is almost…4” and then I look at my watch or clock.  Actually, the strangest part is that it doesn’t bother me anymore.  I take it as an opportunity to pray and meditate on all God has done or shown me.  A lot of times scripture comes to mind, and I just sit in that.

I have experienced that.  My prayer and meditation then moved onto the people in my life and how thankful I am for them.  From my beloved Lisa to our youngest grandchild Liam and all the family in between.  As I thought of each person, I could not help but see how much richer my life is because of them.  As I thought of our daughter-in-law, Jordan, the words “Godsend” came to mind, and I was filled praise and thanksgiving to the Father for her in our life.

Interestingly, for a number of the people that came to mind, the pictures that I remembered were in the midst of difficulty.  For Rhiannon, the picture came when Lisa shattered her leg and Rhiannon took an immediate leave at work and rushed to be with her Mom and I during that first difficult week.  She dropped everything to serve and love on her Mom.

Every member of our family and extended family came to mind and I had mental pictures of each person and I was thankful.  But the Lord has blessed beyond that.  Forrest and Emily and their family who have been serving in another country came to mind.  My thanksgiving for them was mixed with a prayer for them to find “people of peace” who would be open to the Gospel.  I am thankful for persons who respond to God’s call and do the vital work I cannot physically do, but that I can partner with in seeing this full life shared others.

And then there is you, the one reading this blog.  I am thankful for you.  I felt prompted by the LORD to share my journey through cancer.  I’ve blogged in the past, but not much in the past three years.  Now that I am writing again, I feel inspired and engaged.  While my heart’s desire is that these words encourage you, I can assure you, your comments encourage me.  For the second time in less than 24 hours I wonder, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”

One other thought came to me as I finished focusing a healthy portion of my “spare time” to cleaning and organizing was that this was nice and satisfying in an anal-retentive way, but NOT fulfilling. 

This morning, as I mentally went through the faces of family and friends and I thought of the blessing each person is, I couldn’t contain the joy it brought.  Thankfulness flowed into joy which morphed into repeated praise to the One who has brought these people into my life.  It was a cycle that went like this – thinking of a specific person, being thankful for them, giving thanks to the LORD, sensing joy rise a little more, thinking of the next person, being thankful for them, giving thanks to the LORD and having the joy tank filled a little more and… well you get the picture.  I may have at the very beginning given thanks for the home we have (and the good food we are going to be eating later today), but that was ONLY the prelude.  The blessing and the ever-increasing joy came as I thought of the people God has placed in my life.  When Jesus gives us life to the full, it is predominantly the relationships He places in our lives, beginning with our relationship with Him, that make it full. 

My friend, take time today to rest with a thankful heart.  Being thankful is a good thing.  Expressing thanks to others is an even better thing.  Living in a state of gratitude to the One who loves us with an enduring, everlasting love and who gives us life to the full is the best thing. 

BTW, if we do the best thing, we can’t help but do the good and better thing.

Be blessed and be a blessing!

The LORD draws us close in our weakness.  I can honestly say I am thankful for a cancer diagnosis because of the Lord’s and the Lord’s people’s response.  I have been buoyed by the prayers and I know the Lord is walking with me.  His presence is real and tangible. 

Three days after receiving the diagnosis, I was in a hotel in Atlanta.  I woke up around 5 and immediately slipped into prayer.  We are commended to “pray in the spirit” and pray with understanding.  I did not have to be at the office until around 9 so I was able to tarry and do both.  Interestingly, one of the Old Testament names of God came to me as I was praying – Jehovah Nissi which is from the book of Exodus when God had saved the Hebrew people from the Amalekites. 

Moses built an altar and called it The Lord is my Banner. Ex 17:15

I incorporated that into my worship that morning as I gave praise to the Lord under whose Banner I live and move and have my being.  I remember a specific exchange when I said, “LORD, thank you that your Banner over me is love and it is very good, but I was kind of thinking and hoping you would have given me your name, Jehovah Rapha.”  (Jehovah Rapha is the LORD is my healer.)  I said it with a smile and in sincerity.  The Holy Spirit immediately brought to mind James 1:2-4 to mind. 

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

As soon as that scripture came to mind, joy bubbled up within me.  I started chuckling realizing that the Lord has a perfect plan through all of this and that I can trust Him completely.  God’s Word is faithful and true.  He has allowed this time of trial and uncertainty to build perseverance and maturity in me.  From His perspective there is nothing uncertain about this.  It is for my good, and for the good of others around me.  (My fervent prayer is that you, my friend, are one of those God blesses through this.)

Now that alone would have been enough to make my day.  I went to work with a song of praise in my heart and joy percolating within.  I got a call from a previous co-worker that I hadn’t spoken to in several months.  I knew he was a believer so at the end of our conversation I shared the news.  His first wife had passed from a battle with cancer about a decade prior so he could relate.  While he shared a few words of encouragement from his own experience, the blessing came when he said, “Let me pray for you.”  As he began to pray, he didn’t ask immediately for me to be healed, he prayed, “Lord, you are sovereign and in control.  We love you and trust you because you are in this with Dan and you will be victorious…”  When he prayed you are victorious, I saw the LORD’s Banner unfurl and begin waving. 

I didn’t hear the rest of what he prayed because the Lord had given me a clear sign that His Word is true.  I am not alone.  The victorious King is walking with me.  Whatever may come, God is going to get the glory.  And when He is glorified, I am satisfied.

It doesn’t require a cancer diagnosis for us to look to the LORD for His peace.  He desires we walk-in ever-increasing intimacy with Him day-by-day.  Just talk to Him.  Ask Him to illuminate the scripture then read it.  Find a believer and ask them to pray with you.  Friend, I pray the Lord’s encouragement upon you today wherever you are and in whatever situation you are dealing with.  God loves you and He is fighting for you because He is Yahweh Nissi – the LORD is my Banner!

Be blessed and be a blessing!