Thus far I have experienced many more positives from a cancer diagnosis than negatives. I am feeling fine… okay at 63 I am feeling fine for being 63, but I have no real complaints. The rallying of family and friends has been inspiring. The peace which I know to be from the LORD even as we sit in this “bad news, but how bad” phase is simply amazing. I am experiencing the “peace that passes understanding” that the apostle Paul talks about in Philippians 4:7 and it is wonderful. But this morning I want to dwell on an aspect of blessing that is perhaps the most edifying, and that is clarity.
Today I am seeing and understanding my life’s purpose in high definition. The LORD wants me to live in such deep friendship with Him that the joy, peace, and love that He has for me (and for you) spills over. God has called me to love with His love. The time I have left, whether it be 3 months or 30 years, is to be spent immersed in this experience of loving God with all my heart, soul, and strength and loving my neighbor as myself.
This past summer as I was sweating it out at the beach lugging way too much stuff from the beach back to our condo, I was pretty uncomfortable. To battle my discomfort (and maybe a little frustration from lugging too much stuff) I was focusing upon ”reflecting” God’s love. The Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, “I want you to radiate my love.” What? Not reflect? As I let that sink in, I realized I was trying to put on a smile. I was trying to think kinder thoughts even in the midst of frustration. I was thinking about “doing” the right things to be nice even though I felt anything but nice.
As I examined the difference between reflecting and radiating I realized in my instance it was the difference between doing and being. If we consider the story of Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42), we get a picture of doing and being. Martha was busy doing all the things necessary for everyone to be fed and cared for in her home as Jesus was teaching. Mary was busy sitting at Jesus’ feet listening and learning. She put the priority on being in Jesus’ presence before doing other things.
Now this is not an indictment of Martha, but it is making the distinction in priorities. When my life’s priority is to draw close to Jesus, then the remainder of my life falls into place. This is a daily thing. This is a moment-by-moment thing. As I spend focused time on Jesus, the Holy Spirit works this on-going transformation in me that brings about those characteristics that God has purposed for me. I don’t have to work up the smile. It just comes without effort. I don’t have to work so hard to ignore the rude person, but kindness seeps to the surface of my thoughts. I don’t have to try to be loving. Love radiates out of me.
These outward manifestations come supernaturally, naturally. God’s inner working in my soul is making changes in me such that the Holy Spirit has ever increasing sway on how I think and act. It is less of God’s goodness shining on me and bouncing off and more of God’s goodness doing something miraculous in me that causes His goodness to radiate out of me.
As I sit on this plane heading across the country, I think back to the mature believers who demonstrated this in my life. I think of Sandy and Steve, a couple with three young children who took a 23-year-old new believer under their wings and nurtured him. I think of Larry who encouraged me to go to this retreat and prayed for me to experience God in a deeper way. I surrendered my life completely to Jesus that weekend. There are John and Angelique who discipled me in the school of prayer for years as we met in the Prayer Tower in our small town in Tennessee. I think of my beloved Lisa who put up with (and still puts up with) the person in the process of becoming who God created me to be. These people and so many more demonstrated God’s love and care in marvelous ways. And there is my faith community of today – dozens of beloved brothers and sisters in Christ who, like me, are in the process of becoming all God has created them to be.
I hope you will join me in this journey. I believe in God’s sovereignty; therefore, He knows about this cancer battle and has allowed it for His good purpose. That first wakeful night I felt the Lord give me a few “To Do’s”. One was to journal this journey in a totally transparent manner and share it with others. It is my earnest prayer that God meets you where you are and provides exactly what you need – whether it be encouragement, guidance, or perhaps even the first step in your journey of discovery with Him.
Until next time, be blessed my friend and be a blessing!
areliablefaith 