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Incredible

Posted in God, God Stories, Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, Prayer, Prayers, Spiritual Growth, The Father, Trials, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 1, 2023| Leave a Comment »

It is a day and a half since the surgery.  The nerve block they gave me has worked well, but it is finally wearing off and I am beginning to feel the fact that a portion of my ear is missing.  Not too much pain, but a reminder of something lost.  But this is nothing compared to what I have gained through this.  I can truly say this has been one of the most blessed experiences of my life.  The LORD’s presence has been so real and tangible that I have experienced a peace that has truly buoyed me and a joy that has stirred my soul.

The word that comes to mind as I ponder this is “Incredible”.  Something that is credible is believable.  With the prefix added in-credible means something that stretches belief.  I already had a strong belief in God and a vibrant relationship with the Lord through Jesus, but that belief has been strengthened and stretched in the most blessed of ways. 

One of the things I’ve found interesting is how I have been led to pray.  My prayers for myself have been that the Lord would be glorified.  I have not been led to pray to be healed.  The Holy Spirit told me to share my journey, hence you are reading this post.  From that I know others have been praying for me, many praying for my healing, but I have not. 

There was one night a week or so after we learned I was dealing with melanoma that Lisa and I watched a series where one of the lead characters had cystic fibrosis.  In the final episode she passed away.  Her passing as portrayed in the show played out over a 2-year period.  For both Lisa and I the reality that I could be on the front end of a similar journey really weighed on us as we went to bed.  In the middle of the night I awoke restless and I hesitantly prayed, “Lord Jesus, please heal me”.  Well, the Holy Spirit clearly spoke, “It is not yet the time”. 

I have not prayed specifically for my healing since.  I am fine with others praying for it and I do hope the Lord heals me, but that has not been my focus.  I simply want to walk faithfully through this knowing the LORD said, “Trust Me” at the outset. 

The returns on this approach have been amazing.  I have known a peace through this that has lifted me.  As I already mentioned, I can feel such love and affirmation, that I am truly thankful for this experience.  I have even walked in periods of great joy.  And to imagine this is amid losing part of my body and still not knowing if cancer has spread to other parts of my body.  (Since I am being transparent, not all of my body is still working like I would like for it to, but I attribute that to things done at an earlier age that are now catching up to me 😊)

Friends, I can see how the LORD was preparing me for this journey even as late as this summer.  A theme that played out over several weeks in my studies and meditation was that we are “eternal, spiritual beings living in a temporary, physical body”.  Our time on this earth is truly limited.  These bodies all have an expiration date.  But the part of us that lives on is what we should be nourishing and growing.  Our spirit is where we commune with our Creator.  It is the part of us that needs to know who we are and why we are here. 

We are created to be God’s children and our purpose is to know and love Him even as we are fully known and loved.  While this is the answer, it is only the merest surface of the reality.  The depths of it are only realized when it goes from our head to our hearts and fills our spirit with His Holy Spirit.  We are given one lifetime for this to happen.  I guess my situation has simply given me, and those who have joined me for this journey, an opportunity to consider that my expiration date, and each of theirs, might be closer than we realize.  I believe the Lord’s response to each of us is the same as what He spoke to my heart shortly after I learned I had cancer… “Trust Me!”

Our next medical milestone is December 11 when we learn the results of the biopsy and the genetic testing to see if I am prone to more melanoma.

It has been my honor that you have joined me in this journey.  Hopefully the LORD has taken my posts and used them to encourage you in some way.  That is my desire and prayer. 

Be blessed my friend and be a blessing to someone today!

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God’s Not Through with You

Posted in exercise, God, God Stories, Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, love, Prayer, Spiritual Growth, The Father, Worship, tagged , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2023| Leave a Comment »

In addition to my current journey through cancer, I am a heart disease survivor, and it is only by the grace of God that I am able to tell you about it nine years later. Looking back, in addition to being a pretty cool story, there are many takeaways, not the least of which is that the LORD, who saved me back then, is the same God who is with me, and you, in each and every challenge we face.

SIGNS (March 2014)

The last couple of signs that something was not right was getting winded heading up the stairs to the daily meeting I attended at 9 am. It was only two flights, but it was enough that I noticed. My thought was that I had to get back into shape. The wild weather that winter combined with lots of long days at the plant had gotten me out of my fitness routine. That same evening when I arrived home, I pushed a wheelbarrow with tools about 100 yards and the same squeezing sensation occurred. At 15 seconds I was still thinking I was simply out of shape, but it continued. At 30 seconds, now I was praying and asking the LORD if there was more of an issue than just being out of shape. At 45 seconds I decided to tell Lisa about it.

After supper I took Lisa for a walk and told her what had been going on. We agreed I needed to get checked out.  I am not positive that I would have gone before our big trip though.  You see we were a week and a half from heading to Rome and then Israel.  I went to sleep wondering if I went to the doctor and there was a problem, I might not be able to make the trip. I wondered if it would be okay to wait until we returned. But that night I had this dream…

THE DREAM

I was standing on the driveway in front of an open two car garage on a very sunny, but windy day. It was a beautiful blue sky with a few white puffy clouds. The door of the garage was open.  It was dark inside the garage, and I could not see anything in there as I was standing in the sun.  As I stood there a little whirlwind picked up some leaves from around me and blew them into the garage.  I thought to get a broom and sweep them out.  

As I walked in to sweep the leaves out, I paused just as I straddled the threshold and my eyes immediately adjusted to the dark.  There were no cars in the garage, but there was a coffee table in the middle of the room.  Underneath the table was a ball of writhing snakes. As I looked at them, I realized they were poisonous snakes.  As soon as that realization came, one of the snakes broke free from the ball and came at me. Our eyes met and I knew it was coming to get me. As I write this morning, I can sense the malice in the snake’s eyes. I took one step back across the threshold and thought to myself, “I’ve got to deal with this.” At that instant my alarm went off. And resounding in my memory was the thought, “I’ve got to deal with this.”

DOCTOR’S WORK AND WISDOM

That morning I was in the doctor’s office before 10:00 am. Vitals all looked good, but the EKG was A-typical. A call to the cardiologist and I was in their office the next day. I thought a stress test was the next step but after looking at my EKG and hearing my symptoms, the cardiologist put me in for a heart catheterization the next day.  

I went in hoping / expecting a 1-hour inspection where they would find everything fine.  Two and a half hours later the doctor woke me, still on the table in the heart cath lab, with images of my heart on the monitor where I could see the three blood vessels he had unblocked and put in stints.  Two were 90% blocked. The third, which was the widow-maker was 99% blocked.

An overnight stay in the hospital and I was home before noon on Saturday with 3.5 inches of Stainless-Steel mesh tubing in my heart.

That return home from the hospital was exactly one week before we flew out for Rome for 5 days and then on to Israel.  The day before we flew out, I had a final check with the cardiologist to make sure everything was still a go.  I met with a different doctor this time and I shared my story with her.  She listened politely and as I finished, she said, “You quite possibly would have died on that trip.”  My wife now completes the story by letting everyone know that I would have died. 

ISRAEL

One of the sites we visited in Israel was Masada, Herod’s Mountain top fortress in the Judean desert.  It is on a high plateau above the Dead Sea.  When we arrived, the guide gave us two choices.  We could ride the cable car up the 1000 plus feet or we could hike up the winding trail.  Because of the doctor’s orders to take it very easy for six weeks I really had no choice, it was the cable car for me.  But as Lisa correctly points out I am adventurous, and I would have chosen the steep trail… in the desert… in the hot sun which almost assuredly would have brought on a heart attack. 

And the name of that trail… the Snake Trail.

(The image on this post is from the top of Masada looking down the mountain at the trail.)

As I mentioned before, my head spins as I think of the implications… I had a time bomb in my chest getting close to going off… I almost missed the warning signs… I can’t hide behind being “fit” to ward off everything that can take me down… God knows me well enough to know I needed a nudge (OK more like a push) from that dream to move and move quickly.

On the morning of the first cardiologist visit as I was heading to work when all I knew was that my EKG was A-typical, I turned on the local Christian music station. While I was not scared exactly, I was running through my mind the likely paths this could take. The possibility that there was a problem with my heart was high on the list. You can’t help but to think about the what if’s in such a situation. What if I don’t survive and my family has to deal with my loss?

About that time a song came on and the refrain repeated God’s words to us – “I will never leave you. I will never forsake you”. As the melody and these words soaked into my soul the tears came. Not tears of sadness, but tears of joy and release. I KNOW that God lives and that He is in control of my life. He has given me stewardship my time on earth, but as I release my life to Him, I can trust Him completely. He gave me a crazy dream about snakes at exactly the time I needed it to motivate me to head to the doctor. I celebrate the reality of Who He is and yet another marvelous thing He has done for me and my family.

TODAY (November 2023)

Today as I re-read what I posted right after my stents, I am overwhelmed anew by thankfulness.  The LORD has given me such a clear assurance that He is present with me now, every bit as much as He was then.

Last Sunday the LORD impressed Romans 8:28 into my Spirit and then He had others mention it to me throughout the day including my 8th grade history teacher, Mr. Humbert, in a Facebook post earlier this week. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28. This morning I am to add Paul’s conclusion to that thought. “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39

Let me close with the two reasons I am led to share this today. One, as His children, the LORD is with us on a constant, moment by moment basis. It is His desire that we grow in intimacy and awareness of His presence not just on Sundays, not just in a daily quiet time, but moment-by-moment. In the busyness of life though, we can sometimes miss that. He gives us times and instances where His presence is more tangible, more real. His manifest presence breaks through and we KNOW, if for only a little while, that He is right there with us. He gives us those moments to draw us closer and to give us an anchor when we do drift. He simply wants us to remember and return.

The final reason is because God wants you to know how precious you are to Him and that He is not through with you. You may sometimes think you are too weak in your faith or too broken for God to use. Friend, He is not looking to use you. He wants to love you in a real and tangible way. He created you for fellowship, for a life in Him. I have made my share of mistakes and at times I’ve not put in the time to cultivate this intimacy with the LORD, but thanks be to God, He doesn’t move away, He moves toward me. Just like He is moving toward you right now. Just talk to Him. Ask Him to guide you home to Him. He loves you and He’s not through with you.

Lord thank you for this life you have given me.  I surrendered my life to you many years ago, but I realize that this process is on-going.  Today I give you thanks for my body and how it is made – even the heart disease and melanoma that I live with, because I know you are able to use it for the greater good.  Draw me closer and closer to you each and every day. Please use me in my frailties and limitations to faithfully proclaim the Good News of Who You are and what You have done.  Open eyes, ears, and hearts to the beautiful, wonderful reality of You.  I love you, LORD.

And for those who are reading this, I pray your blessings upon them to know your heart for them, to become aware of the desires you have for them. Help them, and me, to walk in the love you have for us. Remind them Lord that you are for them and not against them. That you have a hope and a future in store for them. By your Spirit Lord, let it be done… Amen!

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Waiting with Purpose

Posted in Bible Study, God, Holy Spirit, Prayer, Trials, tagged , , , , on November 9, 2023| Leave a Comment »

Waiting is a part of life. We experience it early and we never stop having seasons of waiting.

Christmas always seemed to take forever to arrive. When it did, there was much to celebrate and enjoy. The birth of a child is the culmination of months of waiting. That next promotion… The trip you have been looking forward to… The medical procedure you need…

Waiting is a part of life and waiting is not easy. But it can be good.

Lisa and I have made reading the Bible through in a year a part of our life rhythm. There are important seasons of waiting throughout the Bible that demonstrate the value in waiting. As I await the next steps in our medical treatment, I take solace in knowing that the LORD who created me and is with me in the waiting. I woke at 3:35am this morning and this theme of waiting has swirled around in my spirit as I prayed and pondered.

A rundown of just some of the seasons of waiting that came to mind:

Seasons of Waiting in the Bible

Abraham and Sarah waited for decades for the fulfillment of the promise that they would have a child. Joseph waited years in prison (on false charges) before God elevated him to Prime Minister of Egypt. Moses waited in the desert for 40 years before God called him from the burning bush. The Hebrew people wandered and waited in the wilderness for 40 years before the time arrived to enter the promised land. Jesus waited about 30 years before His time of ministry and revealing arrived. Even then the timing of God’s plan progressed in times of waiting beginning with 40 days of waiting in the wilderness fasting and praying.

The climactic moment of Jesus’ earthly life, His crucifixion included waiting… in the garden sweating blood in prayer… in mock trials with false accusations… in the praetorium as people cried out for His death… and on the cross until the full measure our sin was atoned for.

As I await a surgery currently scheduled for 2 months from now, hoping it will be moved forward, I get this nudge from Holy Spirit that He is here with me in the waiting. With that came the name Yahweh Shamma… The LORD who is present!

Immediately Isaiah 40:31 comes to mind (I chose the amplified version this morning)

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him]

Will gain new strength and renew their power;

They will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun];

They will run and not become weary,

They will walk and not grow tired.

Isaiah 40:31 Amplified Bible

I am lifted up knowing that there is purpose in my waiting. With a new sense of this time being ordained by God and precious I begin praying.

Confirmation of Purpose in My Waiting

Let me close by sharing a gift the LORD gave me yesterday that is really the point of this post. I woke early yesterday too. (Full transparency, waking at 3:30 am is not hard when you’re in California, but your body clock is still in SC!) I slipped into prayer yesterday as I thought of all my friends who commented on my Facebook post. My heart was warmed and I prayed for individual’s as they came to mind. It was a joy-filled time that started my day well.

As I headed out the hotel door, a friend and brother in Christ called me. I hadn’t seen him in a few years, but he called to encourage me. I had forgotten about praying for him as he went through a cancer battle, but he told me he felt led by the Lord to tell me about what I understood as the turning point for him. It was the low point in his battle. He was rail thin at 125 lbs, he couldn’t stand the sight, smell, or even the thought of food. His wife couldn’t cook or even eat around him because he got so nauseous.

He was seated in his chair in misery and the Holy Spirit asked him a question, “Who’s praying for you?” He replied, “I don’t know LORD, who?” and then all these people that he knew came to mind, churches where he had helped out, foreign countries where he had done mission work. Then the Holy Spirit asked, “What are you to do?” Again he replied, “I don’t know LORD, what?” The reply, “Pray for those praying for you!” I was blown away that the LORD had him call me to confirm that how I was being led was exactly what I was supposed to be doing.

God is the ultimate multi-tasker. I know He is doing things in me and in my family through this journey that are for our ultimate good and His glory. I harbor no illusions that this will be a cake-walk, but I know He has a plan and a purpose. Today, that includes a bit of waiting. But as I wait upon the LORD, I will pray with you and I will pray for you. And one day we will see that God had a purpose in all this and we will see that it was good and very good.

I suspect some of you are waiting too. Lean into the LORD and don’t be shy to ask, “Lord, please help me see my purpose in the waiting.” Then trust Him. He is there and He is not silent. It may be a clear word like my friend received. It might be a nudge in your Spirit like I had yesterday and today. It could be a person who comes to mind that you need to call. The key is to ask, trust, and obey. It is as simple as that.

Be blessed today my friends and don’t forget to be a blessing!

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Clarity!

Posted in Spiritual Growth, Trials, tagged , , , , on November 6, 2023| 2 Comments »

Thus far I have experienced many more positives from a cancer diagnosis than negatives.  I am feeling fine… okay at 63 I am feeling fine for being 63, but I have no real complaints.  The rallying of family and friends has been inspiring.  The peace which I know to be from the LORD even as we sit in this “bad news, but how bad” phase is simply amazing.  I am experiencing the “peace that passes understanding” that the apostle Paul talks about in Philippians 4:7 and it is wonderful.  But this morning I want to dwell on an aspect of blessing that is perhaps the most edifying, and that is clarity.

Today I am seeing and understanding my life’s purpose in high definition.  The LORD wants me to live in such deep friendship with Him that the joy, peace, and love that He has for me (and for you) spills over.  God has called me to love with His love.  The time I have left, whether it be 3 months or 30 years, is to be spent immersed in this experience of loving God with all my heart, soul, and strength and loving my neighbor as myself.

This past summer as I was sweating it out at the beach lugging way too much stuff from the beach back to our condo, I was pretty uncomfortable.  To battle my discomfort (and maybe a little frustration from lugging too much stuff) I was focusing upon ”reflecting” God’s love.  The Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, “I want you to radiate my love.”  What?  Not reflect?  As I let that sink in, I realized I was trying to put on a smile.  I was trying to think kinder thoughts even in the midst of frustration.  I was thinking about “doing” the right things to be nice even though I felt anything but nice. 

As I examined the difference between reflecting and radiating I realized in my instance it was the difference between doing and being.  If we consider the story of Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42), we get a picture of doing and being.  Martha was busy doing all the things necessary for everyone to be fed and cared for in her home as Jesus was teaching.  Mary was busy sitting at Jesus’ feet listening and learning.  She put the priority on being in Jesus’ presence before doing other things.

Now this is not an indictment of Martha, but it is making the distinction in priorities.  When my life’s priority is to draw close to Jesus, then the remainder of my life falls into place.  This is a daily thing.  This is a moment-by-moment thing.  As I spend focused time on Jesus, the Holy Spirit works this on-going transformation in me that brings about those characteristics that God has purposed for me.  I don’t have to work up the smile.  It just comes without effort.  I don’t have to work so hard to ignore the rude person, but kindness seeps to the surface of my thoughts.  I don’t have to try to be loving.  Love radiates out of me.

These outward manifestations come supernaturally, naturally.  God’s inner working in my soul is making changes in me such that the Holy Spirit has ever increasing sway on how I think and act.  It is less of God’s goodness shining on me and bouncing off and more of God’s goodness doing something miraculous in me that causes His goodness to radiate out of me. 

As I sit on this plane heading across the country, I think back to the mature believers who demonstrated this in my life.  I think of Sandy and Steve, a couple with three young children who took a 23-year-old new believer under their wings and nurtured him.  I think of Larry who encouraged me to go to this retreat and prayed for me to experience God in a deeper way.  I surrendered my life completely to Jesus that weekend.  There are John and Angelique who discipled me in the school of prayer for years as we met in the Prayer Tower in our small town in Tennessee.  I think of my beloved Lisa who put up with (and still puts up with) the person in the process of becoming who God created me to be.  These people and so many more demonstrated God’s love and care in marvelous ways.  And there is my faith community of today – dozens of beloved brothers and sisters in Christ who, like me, are in the process of becoming all God has created them to be.

I hope you will join me in this journey.  I believe in God’s sovereignty; therefore, He knows about this cancer battle and has allowed it for His good purpose.  That first wakeful night I felt the Lord give me a few “To Do’s”.  One was to journal this journey in a totally transparent manner and share it with others.  It is my earnest prayer that God meets you where you are and provides exactly what you need – whether it be encouragement, guidance, or perhaps even the first step in your journey of discovery with Him.

Until next time, be blessed my friend and be a blessing!

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Close Enough to Touch

Posted in God Stories, Jesus Christ, Prayer, Prayers, Service, Spiritual Growth, tagged , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2017| Leave a Comment »

This week I have had the opportunity to meet a sweet young woman who is battling cancer.  She is a single mom with three children under the age of 10.  We are partnering with her work family to take her meals, to visit with her, and pray.  Needless to say, she has been a primary topic of conversation with the Father this week.  A couple days ago as I was praying, the story of Jesus healing a woman with a chronic bleeding disorder came to mind.  The story is found in both Mark and Luke’s gospels.  Here it is from Luke.

“Luke 8:42a As Jesus went with him, he was surrounded by the crowds.  43 A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding, and she could find no cure. 44 Coming up behind Jesus, she touched the fringe of his robe. Immediately, the bleeding stopped.  45 “Who touched me?” Jesus asked. Everyone denied it, and Peter said, “Master, this whole crowd is pressing up against you.” 46 But Jesus said, “Someone deliberately touched me, for I felt healing power go out from me.” 47 When the woman realized that she could not stay hidden, she began to tremble and fell to her knees in front of him. The whole crowd heard her explain why she had touched him and that she had been immediately healed. 48 “Daughter,” he said to her, “your faith has made you well. Go in peace.””
I have prayed for healing for many people.  There have been miraculous healings.  There have been healings in other areas of lives than the physical malady we had begun praying for. There have been healings that have transpired through the efficacy of modern medicine which I take on faith the prayer helped to be effective.  There have been terminally ill patients who in prayer it became clear that ending this life well was the appropriate prayer.  And there has been a very small percentage of times when the results were not what I had hoped for.
Through today’s scripture the Lord showed me a new and crucial element of prayer for people who are ill.  Notice that the woman didn’t ask Jesus for healing.  She didn’t come to him with an elaborate petition for healing or a list of reasons she should be healed.  There was not an elaborate process followed to gain his attention and favor.  No, there was really only one thing she felt essential to be made whole.  She needed to get close to Jesus.  Close enough to touch the fringe of His clothing.  Her faith was in Jesus and proximity to Jesus brought about the flow of His healing power.
That’s it.  It is as simple as that – draw close to Jesus and let Him do what He will do.  Jesus is in the “making whole” business.  But be aware, to be made whole by Jesus will encompass much more than just healing from an illness.  He who created us body, soul, and spirit is interested in the totality of our lives.  He wants to perform a transformation in us in it’s entirety, not just on the surface.
This is liberating to me as an intercessor.  I have always known it was Jesus who heals, but I have at times taken on a degree of responsibility that I had to pray it through, that I needed to fast and intercede sufficiently, that I needed to have the right faith to see the healing happen.
I remember a fairly long season of prayer for a 20 year old son of a work friend who was diagnosed with leukemia.  We surrounded the family and prayed and he went into remission.  “Yeah God!”  It was but about 2 years later that it returned.  This time they determined he required a bone marrow transplant.  No match was found so he went through the auto marrow transplant where his own bone marrow was removed, it was radiated to kill all cancer, and then put back into his body.  He seemed to be doing fine and then he picked up an infection.  With no white blood cells to fight off the infection he slipped into a coma.  I felt guilty because I had not kept this young man high on my prayer list.  When he slipped into a coma I joined the prayer team interceding for his healing.  I remember getting daily updates and praying each and every day.  This went on for 40 days.  Amazingly he hung on in that coma.  He did not seem to deteriorate, but as the doctors began telling us, he wasn’t improving and he had to improve.
The break-through came about day 40.  I remember crying out to the Lord from my hotel room in Montreal.  It was in the evening and I looked up at the ceiling because that about how far it felt my prayers for Chase’s healing were going, bouncing off the ceiling and coming back to me.  As I looked up, spiritually worn out, I asked a different question, “Lord, what would you have me pray?”  “Pray for Chase’s mom, that she will release Chase to come home.”  Suddenly the whole prayer changed.  Instead of feeling like I was pushing against a wall, I had a real sense of being aligned with the will of the Father.  Joy and peace filled me and prayer flowed.
It was only a day or two later and the Mom’s prayer request suddenly changed.  Apparently she to had heard from the Lord because instead of the fervent plea to intercede for his healing, she asked us to pray for the Lord’s will to be done and for peace and strength for the family.  Chase passed a day or two after that.
I know the Lord heals.  The story above is one where the healing was Chase going home to be in the closer presence of the Lord.  For others He will touch them with healing as evidence of His love and power on this side of the veil.  In either case, the goal is the same, to draw us closer to Jesus and cause us to grow in our relationship with Him.
Closer to Jesus – it has become the cornerstone of my prayer for healing.
Closer to Jesus – it is the ultimate goal.
Closer to Jesus – where we live and move and have our being.
Closer to Jesus – it’s who we were created to be.
Closer to Jesus.  Close enough to touch Him.  Close enough to be touched by Him.
Be blessed today my friend.

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